Monday, January 12, 2009
Are You Feeling Suicidal...!!!???
My last cry for help went unanswered,
I took that as my sign for departure.
I signed my note in crimson ink,
My bloody Suicide Note.
Night after night I cried myself unconscious,
everyday I put on my smile.
I pretended everything was fine,
when it took all I had to smile.
So I signed my note in crimson ink,
My bloody Suicide Note.
I left you with a note from me;
it said how much I loved you,
how sorry I was it had to end this way,
how I couldn't stand my pain.
I signed those notes in crimson ink,
My bloody Suicide Notes.
Are you feeling suicidal. Have you ever had any suicidal thoughts in
the last few days . Are you feeling down or very depressed . Then
take this five minutes to read the following . I cannot say that I
understand your pain , neither can I promise you that everything will
be better after you read the following article . I am not a therapist
and I am not going to talk you out of your bad feelings .
I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only
know that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can
assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering
ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there
with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and
heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make
do with this.
I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I
have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you
might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this
short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have
five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't
argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume
that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.
Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you
to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that
you're at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about
whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that,
even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is
okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute
means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you
want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live.
So let's hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.
"Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain."
That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak,
or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you
really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you
can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders,
you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how
much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with
it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.
Don't accept it if someone tells you, "that's not enough to be
suicidal about." There are many kinds of pain that may lead to
suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person
to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be
bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable
depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary
greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.
When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the
result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of
character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain
versus coping resources.
You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things:
(1) find a way to reduce your pain, or
(2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.
Now I want to tell you five things to think about.
You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who
feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very
good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information
gives you some sense of hope.
Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours
before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions
are two different things - just because you feel like killing
yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this
minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal
action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5
minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5
minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that
while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on
it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.
People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from
pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to
feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you
are dead.
Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either
because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase
your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying
or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad
reactions are about their fears, not about you.
• But there are people out there who can be with you in this
horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you
to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They
will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours,
or
But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with
this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases
an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional
coping resource you need to regain your balance.
Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they
subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a
really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both
in your community and on the Internet.
Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really
glad.
Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you
should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will
give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of
the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping
resources than you have pain. So let's give you another coping
resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of
pain.
Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best
coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with.
If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are
feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your
coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't
be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to
hear from you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.
posted by JEI @ JEIZONE at 12:33 | 
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